The dysfunctional child is like a plant growing in barren soil, barely able to manifest a few leaves or a frail dwarfed flower, distorting itself and manipulating whatever's available in order to survive. A lot of his childhood is spent altering and shaping himself to be able to respond appropriately to the individuals who he depends on for his survival. He knows all too well some of the inevitable frightening situations that are his existence. His healthy self expressions and his child within are muted. The greatest thing he intuitively knows, and that which temporarily allows him a false sense of security, is....what he wants to "like" most is whatever makes his manipulators happy. He is totally dependent, and because his fear of abandonment is so strong, most of his actions and re-actions are based on trying to prevent it. Whatever he, himself, is interested in he has to mold and shape into a palatable highly modified corrupted form that can cause him no threat. However, when he becomes an adult, he discovers that these very mechanisms (dynamics/systems) that were functional for him as a child are dys-functional for him as an adult.....and, he encounters a whole new frightening situation. This person who as a child was in one incorrect condition after another, trying to put band-aids on an original need, now has to survive in the "world", and he's still anything anybody wants him to be that makes him feel loved, wanted, and safe. ~ Patty Ann Smith
"When you understand that you aren't alone in your suffering, there is the birth of love"...."When there is love, there is the opportunity for peace." ~ Deepak Chopra